Tuesday, March 16, 2010

My only mortal enemy

[29 Nov 2005 | Tuesday]

first a haiku about my nemesis:

Walking fast, thighs rub,
pulling, picking, and prodding,
i hate underwear

so anyone that knows me, probably knows how much i despise undergarments. Other than an extra layer of protection at work, they offer no beneficial qualities. The only time i even bother wearing them, is a)working, because scrub pants have a tendency to snag/rip easy and 2) travelling, because it saves your pants from duck-butter, and mild forms of swamp-ass.
Another really good reason that i hate my underwear is that it causes static electricity to build up in my body, subsequently causing me to be shocked about once every 30 seconds. This, i know, sounds quite absurb. But, they, most assuredly, are the problem. I wear leather shoes with rubber soles, scrubs with a poly/cotton blend, and full cotton underwear that creates the equivelent of .05 Joules with each step i take. I'm so sick of being electrocuted. I tried to get around it by using my body to open the door instead of my hand. So, then i just get shocked in my ass. Boxers or Briefs, doesn't matter. Whoever invented these things need a swift kick to the trachea.

peas
-wa

i believe

[30 Aug 2005 | Tuesday]
I believe in peace, i believe in love, i believe in sharing, i believe in violence, i believe in stereotyping, i believe reality is subjective, i believe in talking less, i believe in doing more, i believe most americans are jerks, i believe that everything is a drug, i believe music is an essential part of humanity, i believe in evolution, i believe that god was created in our image, i believe in family, i believe in charity, i believe that eating meat is just as evil as eating wheat, i believe in friendship, i believe in patience, i believe that having a big family is irresponible, i believe that our culture will collapse on itself, i believe that i wont be around for that event, i believe in mixing genetics, i believe in faith, i believe that gangs are as necessary to our culture as is standing armies, i believe most republicans are assholes with money, i believe most democrats are assholes without money, i believe that most of us live in the dark, i believe in acceptance, i believe in lying, i believe in helping for the sake of helping, i believe richard makes some bomb ass chinese food, i believe in travel as a form of education, i believe there is no right way to live, i believe that i should give people who complain something to complain about, i believe in goodness, i believe people mean everything they say especially if they joke about it, i believe that nature wins, i believe that gravity wins, i believe that we're all unique, i believe in the barrel man, i believe that miracles aren't really miracles, i believe in puppy dogs, i believe in ice cream, i believe in maintaing friendships, i believe blogs are an extraodinarily good place to waste bored time, i believe everyone will become forgotten, i believe that we are food, i believe that there is no afterlife, i believe in soul-spirits, i believe chicks with short short hair are more attractive, i believe that hippies were on to something, i believe that everybody thinks they're special, i believe that i am special, i believe we are the problem, i believe life is precious, i believe i know more than most people, i believe that europeans are freaks when it comes to porn, i believe that loren's house kicks ass especially for after parties, i believe that most people need to get over it, i believe anyone with an unfounded aversion to any food is fucking ridiculous, i believe that death isn't sad, i believe that no one goes to a special place, i believe in sticking it to the man, i believe that Miles Davis could play a mean trumpet, i believe that Jesus probably didn't exist, i believe that i would like to die young, i believe that i would make a kick-ass grandpa, i believe in adoption, i believe in trying new things, i believe in Movie Night, i believe cops are needed but still dicks, i believe that carbon is delicious in small doses and that's why bbq is so good, i believe the same for other carcinogens, i believe most diseases will never be cured, i believe that religion is mythology of the present, i believe there is no past or future, i believe in going to school, i believe that you are a reflection of your upbringing, i believe in playing more, i believe cosmetic surgery is lame, i believe body modification is cool, i believe in working less, i believe reality shows often are less reality and more show, i believe in meditation, i believe in learning more about yourself, i believe in consciousness training, i believe in the force, i believe in cat-calling to scantily dressed women, i believe we are all demi-gods, i believe retardation is not a genetic flaw, i believe that if you dont use it you lose it, i believe in living life any way you see fit, i believe i'm done with this blog

misADVENTURES of T and Wa

[03 Sep 2004 | Friday]
SO... last week t and i went to a wedding up in monterrey county. it was actually on a FORT, you know the kind that keep indians away. well we barely made it for the vows, but we sure made it for the party. the schedule called for 2 days of partying, but for us it turned into the better part of the week. on the second day all the peers of the bride and groom decided to go to the beach, so we packed up all our gear and headed out of the fort, through the forest to get to the ocean. all was well, we were having a great time joking, talking, listening to music, enjoying the air conditioning...when *POP* *BANG* *FSSSSHHHHHH* the engine stalled out. so i pulled over as best i could to see what the problem was (you know with my superior expertise). what it looked like to me was that the car just unleashed its bowels onto the road. gallons of dirty, brown, slighty viscous fluid was evacuating my car at a very quick rate. we're stuck... *30 minutes pass* WHOO HOOO we're saved by the last people to leave the fort! so they promptly pick us up and take us to the ranger station where we make plans for someone to pick us up...in the middle of the forest. Trevor and I were taken back to the car and given some supplies to survive the wait ahead of us. *1 hour passes* nothing, well i shouldn't say nothing, we were both inventing ways to keep the flys off our faces, some of those little fuckers actually bite also! *2 hours pass* i moved into different shade, t stayed where he was. *3 hours* off in the distance we hear it. the deep grumbling and sputtering of a deisel engine, we're saved!!! So extremely releived and stinky of duck butter we crawl up into the cab and get taken back to "town" (i use that term very loosely), drop off the car and get taken to a hotel. and since EVERYTHING in town is closed on sundays we have to wait till monday to attempt anything...i'm really glad i payed off a little extra on my credit card. *day 3 of the misAdventure* early in the morning i made some coffee for myself and headed out to the repair shop to see what could be done. after a couple hours talking to them and finally deciding our course of action they tell me that the soonest they could be ready is wednesday. "no problem," i thought. the rest of the day t and i spent it exploring the wonders that is Downtown King City. to the right, a nice cafe and carneceria. to the left a nice carneceria and cafe...wtf? the town was rittled with them...dont take that the wrong way, the town had GREAT mexican food. *day 4, tuesday* see day 3. oh we went to the library! t and i both agree books are our friends and the library is awesome! i mean i read the lasest daniel quinn book, After Dachau, for free! it's like a movie in every book! in my movie Samuel L. Jackson played the main character, and gwen stefani was the female interest. She did an amazing job! Also, on this day we were scheduled to be saved again, but our saviors were on a adventure of their own. oh yeah my sandal broke today, nothing quite a liberating and being shoeless and barefoot. *day 5, wednesday* "SURPRISE!!!" said the man behind the counter. "You're car wont be ready till tomorrow and i tacked on another 200 to the bill!" (well he didn't actually say that, be he might as well have). personally i think that i was being scammed, apparently he's a higher member of the chamber of commerce and agriculture in the sleepy little town. This jerk was making me spend ANOTHER day in kings city!? well since i dont have wheels i guess i'll stay here and spend more money. So we found a new place to stay across the freeway...they had a pool!! at last! we can wash some clothes, and get out of the heat!! plus they have hbo and cartoon network. *day 6* FINALLY after waiting for 4 hours at the shop we are on our way, with a couple stops to make along the way we finally make it back to our own sleepy little village of camarillo, there's many more details and many other sidequests but those are all stories for other times, as i am tired of typing. -wa

back 2 blog

So i'm back, you know i couldn't stay away. To kick things off, i'm gonna do a quick best of from my myspace blog since i'm getting ready to delete my account. Bear with me as i cut and paste...a lot