My only mortal enemy

[29 Nov 2005 | Tuesday]

first a haiku about my nemesis:

Walking fast, thighs rub,
pulling, picking, and prodding,
i hate underwear

so anyone that knows me, probably knows how much i despise undergarments. Other than an extra layer of protection at work, they offer no beneficial qualities. The only time i even bother wearing them, is a)working, because scrub pants have a tendency to snag/rip easy and 2) travelling, because it saves your pants from duck-butter, and mild forms of swamp-ass.
Another really good reason that i hate my underwear is that it causes static electricity to build up in my body, subsequently causing me to be shocked about once every 30 seconds. This, i know, sounds quite absurb. But, they, most assuredly, are the problem. I wear leather shoes with rubber soles, scrubs with a poly/cotton blend, and full cotton underwear that creates the equivelent of .05 Joules with each step i take. I'm so sick of being electrocuted. I tried to get around it by using my body to open the door instead of my hand. So, then i just get shocked in my ass. Boxers or Briefs, doesn't matter. Whoever invented these things need a swift kick to the trachea.

peas
-wa